Things You Need to Know About Greece

Images: Road Signs: Bougainvillea

We loved, and will continue to love Greece. We love the people, the food, and most of all the scenery! Sweet Lorraine thought you might be interested in some of the things we have learned.

1) There are no parking laws, parking by-laws or -parking rules in Greece. You park wherever you want, whenever you want. If you have blocked somebody in, by double-parking, they will honk their horn until you emerge from the traverna or bar, then you will chat for a while, then you can move your car to block someone else in. It is perfectly OK to park on a crosswalk. We witnessed the port police (two Baywatch extras in uniform) stand by a motorcycle that was blocking the exit to a ferry and blow on their whistles until the owner came. He shouted at them for disturbing his discourse on the state of the Greek football team until theywalked away, shaking their heads at him. We watched bus drivers patiently trying to manouever their huge buses around a car parked in the bus terminal under two No-Parking signs while the owner of the car ate a giro and had a beer in the car.

There is no such thing as a parking ticket in Greece. This is an exaggeration. I did see one in the archaeological museum in a glass case.

2) Order a Greek salad the first meal you have in Greece, then order the tomatoe and cucumber salad from then on. The only difference is the mountain of feta cheese that your arteries will be thankful is missing.

3) Roadsigns do not mean anything. This is true in Italia as well. No parking signs? It is to laugh..., but any kind of sign is truly an object of ridicule. You will be driving, say, from Bari to Foggia (go ahead say it - you will NOT get it right) and will pass a sign saying Foggia 68 km. Five minutes later there will be a sign Foggia 38 km, then ten minutes later Foggia 72 km. I am not making this up. Those were actual signs today. No one really cares anyway as they are pretty much obscured by oleander or bougainvillea - beautiful, and obviously so much higher up the food chain that no highway maintenance crew would ever deign to trim it back so one might be able to read the sign.

4) Learn two Greek words 1) Efkharisto, 2) Parakalo. That's actually three words, because Efkharisto means thank you, and parakalo means please and you're welcome. Accent the last syllable (par a ka LO). Grecians will forgive any egrecious mispronunciations if you get these two right.

5) Your hair will grow while you are travelling. Do not cut it yourself, especially if you have never, ever done this before. Exspeshhullly after a kilo of wine (cokeena CraSEE) at Captain Andreas Taverna.

6) I must compliment the Greeks on their toilets. Very clean.

HOWEVER, there are signs above all the toilets saying "Don't throw paper in the toilet". Now I understand a concern about certain feminine products or the Sat Ed of the New York Times, but NO paper? I asked my friend Kelly at the Old Captain in Sifnos, and she said, "No paper. None. Not used toilet paper. Nothing" Hmmmm. Not any kind of used TP????

I throw myself on the mercy of the Greek populace, cause I violated the Hell out of THAT rule...

7) Do not judge Greece by the port cities.

8) Visit the Greek Islands.

9) Do not believe anything that people tell you about Greek wine. It's good.

10) Order one course at a time at lunch and dinner. Our first meal could have fed Somalia. You can always order more.

Thank you Grecia. Your people and your land are a treasure that we will return to.

Love PJ and SL